Daring Tears

My grandpa died last night.

The family cried in grief and shock,

Holding each other in one group hug

While I sat by our space heater

And stared into the darkness.

I was crying inside too,

But no one knew

Because my face rarely shows

The struggles of my heart.

I remember one day when my emotions got through,

When my loneliness reached a point of desperation

And tears came pouring out.

Mom was there to hold me

Until my sobbing stilled.

Comfort is a privilege

But without communication

What chance is there of comfort?

Later last night Mom got out the board

And let me share my pain

Hugged me in spite of my stiff response,

Reached into my heart.

Never never think you understand

How we autistic people feel.

Underneath the giggles, we may be

Dying inside.

Thank God there is someone in my life

Who listens.

-Craig Romkema-

When I first read this poem in my Literature in English book and that was 5 years ago, I've always felt something in my heart, and I still do. It is the mixture of sad, anger, devastated, pity and scared. Well I guess this poem really touched my heart.