I am a Teacher

After six month of waiting and being a full time couch potato, I finally got hired! It was the best day of my life, the feeling when you got the surat tawaran, and then the penempatan, then the school you got posted to. It’s like the six month I got tired of waiting just gone, pooff, just like that.

So chronologically, I got the news about my pending interview result on 13^th May (after being kept as simpanan for 5 months long that is), and then I got the penempatan news on 6^th June and then the taklimat news on 10^th June and then I went for taklimat at JPN Sabah on 13^th June. So that’s one month of waiting. During the taklimat, we (210 TESL and 38 PAI) were given our surat penempatan sekolah by Puan Hajah Maimunah Binti Haji Suhaibul who is the Pengarah Pendidikan Sabah one by one. Yep one by one and that’s a name I need to remember.

We were also given taklimat about things that we need to know as a teacher, and honestly I don’t remember what was being said. All we want to know is which school we will be posted to and other things don’t matter. All my other close friends got Beluran and I got Nabawan! Which is one and a half hour from my hometown so that’s a plus. My parents always talk about me being posted to Nabawan so I guess their wish came true. I can come home during the weekend if want to. No more flight and two hours of journey to be back.

To all my fellow IPG mates who have not been posted yet, don’t worry, your time will come. We’ve waited this long, why not wait a little bit longer. To my IPG juniors, I don’t know what your future will be like. Most probably, the same fate as us. Don’t worry, you’ll get through it. If you got posted late, buatlah facebook group like us and in there, saling console and support each other like we did. United we stand! It’s all about unity guys.

Lastly, shout out to my friends who got posted to beluran, especially you santi HAHA, baik baik saja. Rajin2 isi egtukar. Yang naik boat, berhati-hati. And to all teachers who got pedalaman deep in the jungle, naik boat, hey at least you guys got more allowance.

And to my first school, I hope I will be okay there. Sk Kebu Baru Nabawan, here I come! 

Teacher Lya

~xoxo

Cause it's January

This is my obligatory January post.

First of all, Happy New Year 2016! I don’t have any New Year resolution this year. I just want to get a job and earn money. I finished my study and now been waiting for posting for almost a month now. I heard rumours that the second batch will be posted after Chinese New Year and if not, on March. So many rumours means the news are not reliable at all. I guess we just have to wait.

This year I got my first Br1m after being rejected for two years. I applied twice when I was still a student but got rejected because I got book voucher. And I broke my phone so my br1m money was used to pay for my phone’s repair cost. I am back to using the old Nokia phone where you can just type message without looking at the keypad. I was a fast typer long time ago.

So here I am, praying and praying that I will be posted soon, and that I want to get posted in my state and also I want to be able to teach English. I felt pity to some of my friends who, after studying English for more than 5 years, suddenly was asked to teach other subject than English. I mean, I am okay if I was given other subject to teach but I still want to teach my major. Kalau tidak, saying bai tu masa belajar English 5 tahun.

Taya is a teacher

~xoxo~

Daring Tears

My grandpa died last night.

The family cried in grief and shock,

Holding each other in one group hug

While I sat by our space heater

And stared into the darkness.

I was crying inside too,

But no one knew

Because my face rarely shows

The struggles of my heart.

I remember one day when my emotions got through,

When my loneliness reached a point of desperation

And tears came pouring out.

Mom was there to hold me

Until my sobbing stilled.

Comfort is a privilege

But without communication

What chance is there of comfort?

Later last night Mom got out the board

And let me share my pain

Hugged me in spite of my stiff response,

Reached into my heart.

Never never think you understand

How we autistic people feel.

Underneath the giggles, we may be

Dying inside.

Thank God there is someone in my life

Who listens.

-Craig Romkema-

When I first read this poem in my Literature in English book and that was 5 years ago, I've always felt something in my heart, and I still do. It is the mixture of sad, anger, devastated, pity and scared. Well I guess this poem really touched my heart. 

That One Suffered Minute

Everything happen for a reason. We are well aware of that. But this incident, that happened to me few days ago, was totally unreasonable. Let's keep the incident as a secret, although many people know about it. >.< So why unreasonable? After that "incident", I suffered a lot. I can accept the other injuries I get. Serves me right. But I can't accept one thing, the injury on my lips. I have like 4 mouth ulcer-s on my lips now. You know mouth ulcer, that white spot that looks like pus on your lips which is very PAINFUL! One mouth ulcer can make you go mad, imagine four ulcer, FOUR! I woke up this one lovely evening (it's my evening nap time ya know) and as usual, still in sleepy condition, I open my mouth as big as possible to yawn and palank palank palank (sound of breaking glass, if that what its sound =.=) my lips torn apart! Literally torn apart. BIBIR SAYA TERKOYAK!!! Imagine that! With FOUR mouth ulcer and lips tearing apart. Guess what happen next. I feel completely refreshed afterwards and tears running from my eyes. No, I'm not crying. =.= It's the pain fault. It is very unreasonable to have four mouth ulcer in one time, you can have one, you can have two, but not FOUR for God sake! It's been two days since I last eat rice. I cannot open my mouth properly, and I speak like I have lisp. I cannot even laugh properly and have to pretend like I'm a refined lady who laughs without showing her teeth. That kind of situation.
I did googled to find the treatment for it, but in vain. I found one blog that wrote something about her experiences dealing with her mouth ulcer. It's not like I never have mouth ulcer before, I did. Small size and only one. It took 2 weeks to recover actually but that was different. So the writer said, buy some special medicine that is specially for mouth ulcer that can be found in I don't know where, or you can try this one killer method which is, to put salt on your mouth ulcer. I tell ya, I did.

THAT ONE SUFFERED MINUTE! IT WAS VERY PAINFUL IN A WAY I CANNOT DESCRIBE. IT'S THE PAIN YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE. THAT KIND OF PAIN. 

I don't know until when I can stand this pain. I don't know when will this suffering end. I pleaded to God that  one magical morning, suddenly everything back to normal. No more pain, no more suffering. I don't know how to sleep without adding the injury on my lips. Fuck this shit.

lots of pain

~tayaldo~ T.T

Quotes of the day 7

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. 
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

*since we will not be living forever, do whatever we want before its too late..live happily, laugh uncontrollably, forgive and forget..whatever it is, treat others as you would like to be treated..LOVE MAKE PEACE*

lots of life

~tayaldo~xoxo

99 facts about guys

Girls, read this..

1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2.    Guys love flirts.

3.    A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4.    When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5.    "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6.    Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7.    When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

8.    Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9.    Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

13. Guys cry!!!!!!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..Uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favour, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you. 

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys EUR™ weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting.

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

 *credit to divya for sharing this in Facebook..^^ 

ok,here's the thing..all that is written in this "99 facts about guys",,all the truth and nothing but the truth..i mean,i experienced all the situation (well,not all,95% maybe) that stated there..one facts that really affect me the most is number 91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

i can tell you that this is real,when a guy cry in front of you,they really mean it..im dead serious!

others like,guys hate gays,guys love their mom..it is all the truth..why i know?its all from experiences laa..

if there any guys don't agree with this,please feel free to protest..xD 

i know u wouldn't right??haha..