My grandpa died last night.
The family cried in grief and shock,
Holding each other in one group hug
While I sat by our space heater
And stared into the darkness.
I was crying inside too,
But no one knew
Because my face rarely shows
The struggles of my heart.
I remember one day when my emotions got through,
When my loneliness reached a point of desperation
And tears came pouring out.
Mom was there to hold me
Until my sobbing stilled.
Comfort is a privilege
But without communication
What chance is there of comfort?
Later last night Mom got out the board
And let me share my pain
Hugged me in spite of my stiff response,
Reached into my heart.
Never never think you understand
How we autistic people feel.
Underneath the giggles, we may be
Dying inside.
Thank God there is someone in my life
Who listens.
When I first read this poem in my Literature in English book and that was 5 years ago, I've always felt something in my heart, and I still do. It is the mixture of sad, anger, devastated, pity and scared. Well I guess this poem really touched my heart.