Random: Last night rambling

Last night at home, going back to campus tomorrow. 

I don't want to go back. I want to see my baby brother on his first day in kindergarten.

I feel so bad for not being there on his first day at school. Gosh this feeling.

He was so happy when he got his uniform. He never let go of his tiny bag and always check his stationery in the bag. Like, "mana saya punya pemadam?" "mana pembaris saya?"

It is never easy to say goodbye, even if its just for a while. 

Kisah hidup merantau. Luckily it is only perak. Kalau dapat London ka, America ka, lagi teruk. ohmy!

Hope everything will be ok tomorrow. Jangan delay. Jangan ada masalah ok. 

God bless our journey. 

Lots of love

~taya~xoxo 

Ada Kawan Sudah!

So, my lil' bro got this surat tawaran from SPA since last July. And "we" (my lil bro and I but mostly me) was waiting for his penempatan coz SPA didn't state the penempatan in the surat tawaran. It was I who felt more nervous waiting for his penempatan coz you know, in my place, I mean in perak, KSKB is so near, jalan kaki pun boleh. Ok, jalan kaki is a no no. Penat gila jalan kaki. So, if my lil bro got there then syukur la.

So, in the surat tawaran, "Sila hubungi Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Sabah di talian bla bla bla mulai 29 November 2013 bagi mengetahui maklumat tentang taklimat". It was freaking 29 November when we called them and they said and I quote "(bla bla something they said) kau cuba lagi kol nanti 6 haribulan". Ok, so we wait. And we called them at 6 Dec, and their answer was "nanti kami kol balik". The F? We were tired with this game and decided, when it is the time, it will come out eventually.
 
9 December, I was still patiently waiting for the result. See, it was my bro's problem tapi yang sibuk sibuk kakak dia. hoho. So, apa lagi, I checked this website yang memang for the SPA-ians to check their penempatan, there's one new announcement., "Semakan penempatan boleh dibuat mulai 10 Disember, jam 5 petang". Oh ok, so it was finally there huh.

10 December, 5 pm. I waited 18 minutes to check if the result was out or not. Guess what. Not out yet. I knew it. Kalau dari 29 November lagi sudah diorang suruh tunggu, apa la sangat kalau lambat sikit lagi kan. *insert sarcasm tone* At 6 something almost 7 pm, The RESULT was finally out. The long awaited freaking result was finally out. I should be given standing ovation for waiting this long. Macam tunggu elaun saja. Samala, lambat keluar. Pengurusan hampeh. Bluek.

Macam God listen to my prayer, or coincidence? Maybe the former.
Thank you God! My lil bro got KSKB Ulu Kinta! Ada kawan sudah! So boleh jalan sama-sama. Boleh jadi "boyfriend" sementara. Boleh minta duit. (ok tidak malu, kakak minta duit when I supposed to give him money coz you know his allowance will be in very late coz he's a freshman so I will be giving him money and the fact that his allowance is bigger then mine, He supposed to give me money. Compensation money).

My dad juga sengsara if like this. His 3 kids dapat di semenanjung. Means more money. Its ok dad. Our allowance can cover the expenses. But I'm very happy coz I can take care of my lil bro sebab kami dekat. It means his money saya yang jaga. hohoho. *evil laugh*

Finally, Congratulation to those SPA-ians out there. Your future is now brightly shining in front of you. You just have to follow it kay.

If only I got the tawaran for Medical Assistant earlier before I enter IPG, mesti now I praktikal oready and next year dapat gaji sendiri oready. SPA! why u lambat give me tawaran?? Frust ni. Frust. 

lots of love
~taya~merry Christmas hohoho

Kakak yang hebat. Bukan senang.

To be the only older sister that your brothers and sisters look up to is not easy. Well, that goes without saying. Menjadi satu-satunya “role model” to your little siblings adalah perkara yang amat menyusahkan. For example, my brother yang muda 2 tahun from me always seek me for advices. Be it studies problem or even his so-called love problem.  As usual, this kakak yang baik hati akan tolong to solve his problems, but sometimes it gets annoying. He will message me at 2 in the morning and ask me to help him. Why the hell budak sekolah yang akan pergi sekolah dalam 4 jam not sleeping pada pukul 2 pagi?! My other brother pula always pesters me to help him create his Facebook account, which I already did for him because rasa annoyed and kesian at the same time. Paling kesian, my sisters. Sebagai seorang kakak yang ingin melihat adik-adiknya berjaya, I always ask them to study. I even bribe them to study hard, which usually not successful and I will try other alternative iaitu, “kalau tidak study kakak jadi hulk”. But kakak pun manusia biasa, sikap malas itu senantiasa bersarang di badannya. 

One day my sister study English, and because kakaknya belajar English nun jauh di perak sana, dia pun bertanya la kepada kakaknya mengenai perkataan yang tidak difahaminya. Amboi kakaknya itu menyuruh dia mengambil kamus dan mencari makna perkataan itu sendiri. I feel guilty. Truly. As an older sister, THE ONLY OLDER SISTER, the responsibility I bear is much like a breadwinner of my family, although I belum kerja pun. Apatah lagi when you have an older brother yang don’t act like he supposed to for the family, the responsibility is greater. Sigh. I remember when I was little, waktu tu belum ada adik perempuan, and I also thought I will be the only daughter in the family forever, my mother will tell my other siblings “jangan kacau kakak”, “jangan buat kakak nangis”, “jangan suruh kakak buat kerja”. I admit I enjoyed the attention. But that was old story. Now, every year I have to think about my little siblings before I do something for myself.

That sense of responsibility of a sister sangat kuat, even my allowance money is used for them. Although once in a while, (well not actually once in a while but always) I want to pentingkan diri sendiri, don’t care about my siblings at all, but deep inside my heart, there is always room for them. Room for them to use up my money sampai kering. Argh! Menjadi kakak yang hebat, sangat sangat sangat menyusahkan!!! 

lots of love

~tayaldo~xoxo

Take a Sip

6 days more. I just can't wait to go back. I miss my family so much. So much that tears come out every time I think of them. You wouldn't know that feeling unless you one of me. Meaning that you study far from family. I know it is just within Malaysia, Sabah-Perak, Perak-Sabah but don't judge me. Yeah, I wouldn't know the feeling of my seniors who study abroad, in Warwick. I wouldn't know wouldn't I, because I will never have the chance to go there and deep inside my heart I'm so glad that government would not send us there. =)

take a sip of shake-shake before continuing my assignment. 

fighting! 

Muax muax owel. 

lots of love
~tayaldo~xoxo

GUILTY. SINS. REMORSE

I am thinking about my mom this very moment. I miss her so damn much! and of course my family. missing them was a torture to me and I can't stop thinking of them! I was browsing through pictures in my laptop when I found this picture that I downloaded it,well,I don't know when..it was a piece of writing, a story actually, that really touch anyone's heart,(if you do have a heart),well it touches mine..I had read it once, and I cried. still, when I read it on second time, I cannot stop my tears from going out. hell ya! it was really touching man..

the title is "I HATE MY MOTHER"

what the hell man..

I'm a cry baby,remember? I cry way to easily, that I can still cry for the second time after reading this story.

it was a story about a child and a mother, where the child hated her mother so much and even yelled to her and told her to just go die..what the f**k! you go to hell piece of crap! I was so into the story that I curse and curse and curse at the son until I felt better. I think that all children who betrayed their parents should go straight to hell.don't you think so?? am I just cruel enough,or should I add some, well maybe all the children who betrayed  their father and mother should have been tortured like hell before hang them to death and burn them to ashes and throw their ashes to the sea..huh! what a relieve..but surely, i will not do that..it is just way to cruel to punish someone isn't it..hahaha..

well, I know I'm not perfect. me,of course,once yelled at mother before,but then I felt guilty, I felt that I had commit a serious sin and I regretted it. I remember that I yelled at my mother and how she reacts about it. I saw her face full of sadness because of her stupid daughter yelled at her!! stupid taya!!!!! I hated that part of me. I know that my mother suffered a lot for me.T.T thank you mom..

she called me yesterday, we were talking about home and my brother at seremban and of course myself,and the words that catch my heart a lot was, "dekat suda kamu balik,mama pun rindu suda kamu ni, hati2 kamu sana,selalu ingat Tuhan,mama selalu sembahyang untuk kamu"

I also miss you mom..so much!!!! don't worry mom, I will always listen to your advices..thank you for everything mom..

words for my mom

*i know that i always trouble you,i know that at some point i really mad at you and refuse to talk to you,i know that i've been a bad daughter for you,but i realise one thing,you love me so much that you forgive all my mistakes without hesitation. you are a great mother that i wouldn't exchange you for anything, you are too valuable and nothing can change that. thank you mother for giving birth to me and take care of me. i promise you that i'll be a good daughter to you and take care of you like what you did to me..thank you mother..and i love you more and more*

p/s: I LOVE YOU TOO PAPA..NO WORRIES.. =P YOU ARE MY HERO FOREVER AND EVER!!!:)